Just Breathing?

teapot-830110_960_720Quiet morning, the sun just started spreading its rays enlightening the darkest of corners. There was me sitting in the chair. Morning tea right beside me, a newspaper in my hand. I was enjoying every bit of morning breeze cuddling my cheeks. Sitting there in the balcony I was looking at that beautiful day. There were birds chirping, cars moving, the wind was sighing as it travelled between the skyscrapers, they all created a melodious harmony. A day couldn’t have been more beautiful, or maybe it was just me who was enjoying every bit of it. Shifting my focus from this beautiful day, I looked at the newspaper and read the first news. I looked away, sipping tea. Staring at the beautiful glass building, reflecting the world, I started on a journey of my own thoughts. And what more could have been better than thinking about the lives we are living in. I started wondering how ironic our lives are. How we don’t enjoy the days gifted to us. “At least I am living it well.” I wondered it in my mind. Suddenly all my procrastinated hobbies, people I have brought down, everyone whom I have fought with, and every wrong doing flashed my mind all at once. “Am I really living it?” I asked myself. I was stuck in the middle of a definite yes or no.
Maybe I am just breathing, not living every moment of my life. I wake up, go to work, work all day, come back, eat and sleep, in all that where are the moments when I live? Where are the moments when I enjoy every ounce of this beautiful gift? Life isn’t about feeding your stomach. It’s about having that satisfaction while looking back, that yes, I am happy that I tried something new and I enjoyed it. It’s about feeling joyous and spreading the joy, about having that thrill every day when you wake up and about getting excited with every dawn and feeling content at each dusk.
A fear crept in my mind, “What if I am not living it, what if I am wasting these days, which could bring loads?”. Those memories flashed my mind when I brought a grin to someone’s face, when I cancelled a plan with my family because I had to work, seeing their sad faces, staring at me with disappointment filled in their eyes. My heart sank. I so badly wanted to turn back time and amend my mistakes but that was not possible.
I remembered a dialogue from a movie, the hero said: “The best way to live life is to make choices and then never look back”. “I should stop looking at what has gone and should focus on how to can i be better in future.” my mind said to me.
Believe me, I wanted to sing out loud that very moment. I love singing. I wanted to forget everything and sing my heart out so that I could know that now I have had a start to living. I folded the newspaper and kept in on the table next to me and sipped my tea. I heard my wife “It’s 7:30, don’t you have to get ready for the office?”
“I am taking an off today. No work today, just gonna be at home.” I stretched my legs and relaxed, bringing a smile to my face.

“Darling, come let me help you with my birthday cake, Turning 40 I am, eh?” I replied.
I grabbed my teacup and went inside.
There was the newspaper lying where heading of the newspaper read “Man dies at 40, leaving his million dollar empire behind.”

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